He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
