Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
