Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
