And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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