Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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