would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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