Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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