Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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