how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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