oh god the rape fog is back!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
