feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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