i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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