There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Randomize
