someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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