Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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