U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
