laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My vagina is officially offended.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
