she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
being pregnant is like rehab
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
