Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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