wakey wakey hands off snakey
kristin has been a bad kristin
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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