Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
