I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
