Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
