so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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