Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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