Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
