Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
bring money and cleavage
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
