i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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