So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
