guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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