the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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