How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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