a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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