38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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