Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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