ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
