I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well you can't waste a boner
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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