Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
