he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It all started with a game of naked twister.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
