one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
