Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
