I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
