Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
