I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Even my vagina gasped.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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