haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
