Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
