She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
