Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
