Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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