And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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