Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
