Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
