First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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