I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
