She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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