I bet he comes in French.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
